Cruelty free - nyet
Fair trade - nah dawg
Ethically sourced and sustainably harvested - la la la
Kid tested mother approved - neither
Scientifically proven - better not
100% Biodegradable - 100% doubtful
USDA Organic - nutz
Gluten free - you tell me
Vegan - who dat?
All natural - HONK!
Made with love and care - bitch, please
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